7 methods to overcome self-doubt and learn to love yourself

Lacking in confidence? Questioning your worth? Healthista spoke to Nicci Roscoe, accomplished holistic health & wellbeing practitioner and author of new book, Manifest your Everything, who reveals 7 ways you can overcome self-doubt

7 methods to overcome self-doubt and learn to love yourself

When our confidence is low and fear of being rejected or judged becomes our focus, self-doubt can become overwhelming.

This roller-coaster of emotions may leave us questioning everything we do and say.

Feelings that we’re not good enough or liked can be very debilitating and disrupt our plans, hopes and dreams. We can become afraid of failure and desperately seek recognition and love.

Self-doubt can become all-consuming and instil negative beliefs in our subconscious mind that aren’t real. By recognising these feelings as false, we can change our thoughts to positive ones and see things in a different way.

The seeds of self-doubt may have been sewn in childhood. Or they may come from friends or family members transferring their issues to you.   

It’s possible to free yourself from the negative mindset and self-doubt by changing your thought process.  As Audrey Hepburn said, ‘Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible’.  

Here are some positive techniques to overcome self-doubt and boost your self-confidence:  

#1 Anchoring  
Anchoring is a way of connecting to a positive memory with a physical action. This enables you to bring the energy of the memory into the present moment to help you feel good.

You can anchor a memory to feel anything, from confident and positive to calm and relaxed. Different triggers may remind you of something good, and drawing on these can help to flip a negative mindset into a more positive one.

To anchor effectively:   

Think of a time you felt happy and confident.
Visualise your surroundings and people you were with. Maybe you had your family or friends over for dinner and were laughing and reminiscing about old times or on holiday relaxing on the beach.
Squeeze your thumb and forefinger together on one hand.
Feel these good feelings. Make them bigger, brighter, and bolder. See yourself having fun. Imagine stepping into the moment. Turn up the volume! Double this feeling, then triple it! Make it even bigger and brighter!  
Stay in this happy memory for two minutes or more and repeat whenever you want to smile, feeling happy and confident.

#2 Surround yourself with positive people to feel good 
Avoid spending time with people who make you question your own self-worth. They feed you negative thoughts and can stop you doing what you really want to do, such as going for the job of your dreams or wearing a special dress you love to a party.  

Surround yourself with people who have a positive energy, make you laugh, feel relaxed, calm, and happy. These people lift your mood, boost your energy, inspire you and are positive motivators instead of being ‘energy drainers’ that deplete you of your own energy. 

#3 Stop Letting Others Influence Your Thoughts and Give Yourself Mental Head Space 
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and doubting your actions because a friend is constantly putting you down by telling you you’re wrong, this exercise will help you let go of these negative emotions of doubt and distance yourself mentally from what they are saying, to give you a clear mind to focus on doing what you want to. 

Imagine putting distance between you and the person causing your self-doubt.   
Imagine them standing in front of you.  
Place one hand on your heart and say out loud or to yourself “I’m taking care of me” 
Push the other hand out in front of you towards the person and say out loud or to yourself “and you’re over there” 
Then say ‘This is your issue not mine’ 
See them as a tiny speck that vanishes! 
Repeat this 7 times.

#4 Positive self-talk
STOP comparing yourself to others! Don’t put yourself down or say what you can’t do. Avoid saying things like “Her home is much nicer than mine” or “She’s so successful, I can never be like her”.

The more you tell yourself negative thoughts, the more your subconscious mind will believe you. To break your negative cycle, reframe what you say to yourself with positive self-talk.

For example, “I love my home” or ‘’I’m excited for the next step in my career”. These are called “positive affirmations.” The more you say them, the more your subconscious will focus on the positive!  

#5 Crystals give you a powerful vibration that is comforting and magical 
Keep your crystals with you. Hold them when you feel you need to. Keep them by your bed at night. Sleep with them under your pillow or hold the one you feel more compelled to.    

Crazy lace agate is a wonderful stone to give you confidence, alleviating self-doubt.
Blue lace agate and kyanite are also amazing crystals that help you say what you are feeling without any self-doubt.
Black obsidian will help you to feel stronger and gets rid of any insecurities that you are feeling.

#6 Give yourself love and be kind to yourself 
By giving yourself love this can help you relax, feel peaceful and calm. When you’re feeling overwhelmed by self-doubt it’s important to take some time to stop and breathe. Plan a time in your day just for you! 

Walk-in nature and take in the energy of the trees and everything around you. Pamper yourself with a soothing bubble bath. Add some rose quartz crystals for extra love and calm.

Meditation stills the mind and brings clarity and focus. Find a comfortable place to be and listen to relaxing meditation music. Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing. Take three slow deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth then continue breathing comfortably. Tell yourself “I feel confident and positive, and I believe in myself” Keep coming back to these words. 

When exercising your body releases chemicals called endorphins that give you the ‘feel-good-factor’. Exercise help to clear your mind, bring focus and to overcome self-doubt. 

Trust and believe in you; not necessarily what others tell you. Stop listening to your inner negative chatterbox. Focus on positive self-talk, feeling good about you and what you can achieve.  

You can do anything you want to when you put your mind to it!